he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
