she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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