I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
