ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
