Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
