Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
