Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
