Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
