I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
