just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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