I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
