I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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