we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
