He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
