the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
