I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
