I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize