In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
