I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ketchup is God's man juice
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
