Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
