You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
