I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
