i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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