yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
