You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize