How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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