this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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