I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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