my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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