HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
