just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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