so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
