He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
