it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
