I cannot find my penis.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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