I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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