Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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