mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
