Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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