Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We got so high we made milksteak
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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