Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
