I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
