Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize