Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
