im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
