my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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