like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
