I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize