Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
