Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
