The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
