Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
