Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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