He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
