1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So apparently I’m into choking now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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