is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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