after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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