May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
