a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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