she looked like the before picture.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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