so explain again why im purple
no
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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