addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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