You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
