found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
