You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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