Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sext me about skeletons
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
