I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I CAN MOONWALK!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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