mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
