ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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