I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
