all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
