for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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